


Sober Thoughts

by holeofholland



Series: Drunk Texting [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Actor Tom Holland, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Angst and Porn, Bathtub Sex, Blow Jobs, Body Hair, Bottom Tom Holland, Coming Out, Face-Fucking, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Foreplay, Fucking, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Kitchen Sex, M/M, Makeup Sex, Muscles, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Sex Toys, Sexting, Sexual Roleplay, Sexy Times, Skull Fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:40:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24327433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holeofholland/pseuds/holeofholland
Summary: One night. One drunken text. One giant mistake. Or was it? After finding out his best friend loves him back, Harrison Osterfield thought he figured that out. But with a new career opportunity and their relationship hanging in the balance, he just isn't so sure anymore.Rated NC-17 for explicit sexual content and strong language.
Relationships: Tom Holland/Harrison Osterfield
Series: Drunk Texting [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1755445
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. Newfound Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a sequel. For the full experience, I suggest starting with the first installment, _Drunk Texting_.

Harrison rested against Tom, head in the crook of his armpit and hand mindlessly rubbing his bare chest. The sun had just begun peeking through the sheer bedroom curtains. Its warm, yellowish glow seemed to cast a beacon over the two of them. It was early. As Harrison lay, thinking back on the night before, he took notice of the quiet. The only sound was the soft chirp of birds outside the window and Tom's steady breathing. It was a solitude Harrison never wanted to abandon.

He glanced up at Tom's resting face and smiled. Was there a word for how he truly felt about it? Probably not, he figured. There were just some things unable to be described. You had to see them for yourself. Tom's face -- his eyelids fluttering with a dream and his lips parted just slightly -- was one of them. And Harrison felt damned lucky to be able to see it. He silently hoped to be able to see it for the rest of his life, especially after the night they had shared.

If someone were to ask, Harrison would probably tell them sex with Tom was exactly as he had dreamt. It would be a lie though. Truthfully, Harrison hadn't known what to expect. It definitely wasn't like the videos online or like the stories. No, it was...different. Otherworldly. When the two connected, Harrison felt lifted from reality. It was an out-of-body experience, looking down at himself wrapped around Tom's body. Time ceased to exist when they made love. Harrison wondered if it would feel like that every time they did it.

Tom stirred suddenly, pulling Harrison from his thoughts. He glanced up and greeted his boyfriend's groggy eyes, then giggled at the thought of calling Tom his boyfriend. It seemed absurd. Just last week, the two had been best friends -- nothing more. Now, they were lovers. Tom had said he loved Harrison and Harrison felt it too. 

"G'morning," Tom mumbled, rubbing the sleep from the inner corner of his eyes.

"Sleep well?" Harrison asked. He rose, freeing Tom's other arm.

Tom yawned theatrically, throwing his hands above his head. "Like a baby."

"Mm. Good." Harrison leaned forward and pecked his lover on the lips. "You looked like you might be."

"Was having a great dream, that's for sure."

Harrison climbed atop Tom's waist. In response, Tom rubbed at Harrison's hips. "Just you. Us, really. We had a cabin somewhere quiet. It was just the two of us. It felt like it should."

"Makes us sound like an old married couple."

"We could be." Tom playfully pinched Harrison, emitting a joyful squeal. "Besides, I already told you I love you. I meant that."

"After last night, I believe it," Harrison said. "I've never felt anything like it."

"Me neither."

Harrison cocked his head to the side. "I thought you weren't a virgin?"

"Doesn't mean the sex was good. I don't even want to think of it as sex with you. It was just finally becoming whole."

"Well, I've got a different hole for you..." Harrison trailed off as he kissed Tom. It was far more passionate than the previous peck and was reminiscent of the night before. As it deepened, Tom's hands found their way down to cup Harrison's cheeks. 

"I wish we could, baby," Tom whispered, their mouths still partly connected.

"You can't?"

"I have that meeting with Harry and Andrew this morning. Remember? He called last night."

Harrison sighed dramatically and feigned confusion, similar to Mae West. "I was just in such a state of pleasure that I completely overlooked it."

Tom chuckled slyly. "Well, I think your mouth was too busy with something else at the time anyway." They both laughed, then Tom reached for his phone. He only glanced at the time before leaping forward. 

Harrison collapsed to the other side of the bed in a heap. "What was that about?"

"Sorry, love. I'm going to be late." He jumped to the ground and skidded into the bathroom, leaving the door open. He turned on the shower and climbed in. Over the sound of the water, he called out to Harrison. "Can you get me some clothes? Something casual."

"Can do." Harrison rose and tidied up the bed. With one last look at his boyfriend's soaked frame, he dug through the closet. 

He didn't have to think twice about it. Harrison knew exactly the outfit Tom would wear. A white polo that hugged his chest and khaki chinos that made his already prominent bottom look even bigger. The first time Harrison had seen him in it, he'd practically melted. 

He tossed the clothes onto the neatly made-up bed and walked into the bathroom. Steam filled the room, unfortunately fogging Tom's appearance. Harrison could still hear him though, his morning voice shakily carrying a tune from the _Billy Elliot_ soundtrack. Harrison giggled at this as he grabbed a towel from the rack. When he stepped back to the shower, Tom was waiting for him.

"Thanks, baby," he said, wrapping the towel around his waist. He kissed Harrison and padded into the bedroom. A couple of minutes later, he was dressed. 

"I was right." Harrison joined his boyfriend, now draped in a bathrobe.

"About what?"

"Those pants making your arse look good."

Tom chuckled. "You like these? I think they're too much."

"I like too much." He leaned forward to kiss Tom but stopped midway.

"I can't, love. I'm going to be late." Harrison looked sad, which surprisingly seemed to excite Tom. Or, maybe "excite" wasn't the correct word. "Tell you what. I'll bring something back for us tonight. You feeling Chinese?"

Harrison brightened. "And a movie?"

"You pick it, baby." He kissed Harrison, just a peck. "I'll bring you a surprise too. Love you."

"Love you too," Harrison called, watching Tom disappear into the hallway. A few seconds later, the front door opened and shut. 

All alone, which he knew he'd be for most of the day, Harrison retired to the sofa. He flipped the television on but, really, it was only for background noise. _E! News_ was reporting the latest celebrity gossip which never appeased him much. He found his Instagram much more appealing. 

He scrolled through it for a while, liking a new fan post here and there. Most were simply reposts of his own or his stories. Still, it felt nice to interact with his fans. Truthfully, Harrison sometimes felt second-cast or overshadowed by Tom. In school, they had promised to always stick together in life. And although Tom's role as Spider-Man had skyrocketed his success, he kept that promise. Harrison still struggled to fight that second-feeling though.

Suddenly, a journalist (could he call it that?) mentioned Tom's name. Harrison gave the television his full attention. "Uh, I have Tom Holland at a grocery store a couple of nights ago." So it wasn't a journalist. It was a _TMZ_ tabloid member. Tom loathed them. 

The man on the screen -- a bearded man who resembled Jesus in the worst way -- handed an iPad towards the front of the newsroom. A photo came on-screen then. Sure enough, it showed Tom at the market the night he and Harrison had went. He was crowded by fans, smiling widely and signing autographs.

"Apparently he wasn't alone," the bearded man added. He was right. The photo zoomed in to show Harrison chatting idly to...Logan.

Harrison froze. He had completely forgotten about Logan, the obnoxious yet sweet shelf stocker. They had had a date just last night. Harrison had been ready in time too. He hadn't meant to blow the boy off but...other things came up. It wasn't if he could turn Tom away for a stranger.

He switched the television off and opened his text messages. Seeming to glare at him were three new messages from Logan, all more than a few hours old.

**U coming?**

**Where r u?**

**Whatever dude.**

What was there to say? Was there really anything _to say_ in response to that? There wasn't any denying what he'd done, Harrison knew that. Plain and simple, he'd stood a guy up. And his first real date with a guy to beat it all. But, even more, did he even want to say anything? Truthfully, a part of him felt like just ignoring the entire thing. He had Tom now. Wouldn't messaging Logan just complicate things?

He sighed and began typing.

+++

The sun had already set by the time Tom arrived home. As soon as he turned the knob to the front door, Harrison bolted to him, throwing his arms around his neck. Tom laughed at this, despite struggling with three large bags.

"Easy, baby," he said. He kissed Harrison on the cheek and set the bags on the kitchen island. "You act like I've been gone for years."

"Sorry," Harrison said sheepishly. He picked at a piece of skin on his thumbnail. "Just a weird day, I guess. Alone and all."

"You couldn't text someone." Harrison tensed at the words which did not go unnoticed by Tom. "What? Is something wrong?"

Harrison, tight-lipped, shook his head. "No. Everything's fine."

"Come on." Tom stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "I know when somethings up with you."

"Just, uh, _TMZ_ had some photos." It wasn't technically a lie.

"Yeah, I saw. Well, Harry saw it. Fucking pappoz. Anyway." He reached into a large, white paper bag. "Dinner is served."

"Look's yummy." Harrison excepted the takeout box of Chinese food and a pair of chopsticks. "What about the other bags?"

Tom shrugged. "A surprise for later."

They settled into the sofa and quickly settled on an action film. Not even halfway through it, the boys had both finished off their food. That was just fine with Harrison who had wound up laying with his head in Tom's lap. He didn't even pay attention to the film. The only thing that mattered to him was the sweet smell of Tom and the way his fingers felt in his hair. It was a perfect night, he thought. The photos didn't matter. _TMZ_ didn't matter. Logan didn't even matter.

More comfortable than he had ever been in his life, Harrison drifted into sleep. 


	2. Surprises, Surprises

Harrison awoke the next morning in bed. He hadn't remembered dragging himself from the sitting room to the bedroom during the night but he had a fairly good idea of how it had happened. He shielded his eyes against the sun's rays and tossed the blankets off his legs. As he hauled himself to the floor, he became aware of a particularly delicious scent wafting through the cracked bedroom door. It smelled sweet and fruity -- raspberries, maybe? Tom knew they were Harrison's favorite. Just the thought of them made his mouth dribble.

The scent grew stronger as Harrison padded down the hall and into the kitchen. There, he found -- as suspected, of course -- Tom stretched over the stove, spatula diving into a pan. The sight warmed Harrison's heart. He was used to seeing Tom cook but never as his boyfriend, and never a meal that was meant for them to share. It also wasn't common for Tom to slave away while nude, yet here he was.

Harrison bit his lip, taking in Tom's dress. All he wore was a red apron, tied around the dip just above his bottom. It -- his bottom -- bounced and jiggled as Tom swayed his hips to a song playing from the smart speaker. It was one Harrison recognized, some Lady Gaga duet. He joined in Tom's one-man party, bobbing his head effortlessly, and tip-toed behind him. He smacked an open palm against a cheek, causing Tom to yelp.

"Hey," he scolded, though Harrison could tell it was half-hearted.

He curled his arms around Tom's stomach and nuzzled the crook of his neck. "Something smells good."

"Your favorite," Tom said. He tilted his head and pecked Harrison's ear.

"Was this the surprise? Because I love it."

"Partially," Tom admitted. "The rest is coming."

Harrison drew back and covered his chest with his hand, feigning surprise. "Oh, you didn't! Crepes _and_ a stripper?"

"Har, har." Tom flipped a completed pastry on a plate and passed it forward.

"One can dream, right?"

Tom playfully glared at him. "I'll spit in your food if you keep it up."

"Spit in my mouth instead," Harrison mumbled. He giggled at Tom's gawking expression and seated himself at the island. 

With some powdered sugar and raspberries to compliment, the crepes were delectable. The way they melted on Harrison's tongue was nearly better than sex -- nearly. It really didn't surprise Harrison though. Tom had always been a great cook. "Husband material," he had jokingly told him through the years. He never would have imagined it might one day become more than a joke. Would it though. Harrison supposed it was a possibility, hoped, even. A house, maybe a dog. A place just to themselves.

"They're good?" Tom's voice broke through Harrison's thoughts.

He smiled suspiciously at his boyfriend. "Why? Did you poison them?"

"Yes, actually." He looked at his wrist where a watch would normally be. "You have about thirty seconds left to live."

"Well, damn. And here I was hoping to taste dick one last time before croaking. I guess we don't always get what we wish for."

Tom flicked the burner knob, extinguishing the fire. He tossed the spatula onto the counter and wound around the island, stopping just between Harrison's legs. "You know, I think that can be arranged."

"Oh, yeah?" Harrison laughed. He arched up and kissed Tom. Though they'd done at least a dozen times by now, their lips colliding still felt like a firework show on the top of the highest-peaked mountaintop. Harrison leaned into it, feeling weightless and ignited at the same time. His skin burned, itched. Somehow, anyway, he wanted to peel himself away from his body and become one with Tom's -- to never be separated.

Alas, Tom eventually pulled back, bringing Harrison's bottom lip between his teeth. He relented and chuckled. "You taste like sugar."

"Do you use that line on all the guys?" Harrison inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Tom smirked. "Only the ones I love."

They kissed again but only for a second. Without protest from Tom, Harrison undid the apron's straps and dropped to his knees. The red fabric fell away and Tom's hardened erection stood at attention. Needing attention, really, Harrison thought. He brushed a kiss against it and it jerked. Then again, and again, and again. Had Harrison's lips stained, Tom's length would have been unrecognizable. Not a place had gone unkissed.

When he satisfied with that simple job, Harrison brought Tom forward and between his lips. Already, Tom dripped with excitement. As Harrison brought him farther in, his precome slicked over his veins. From above, quiet moans filled the air. They begged, beckoned for more.

With a deliberate rate, Harrison bobbed his head up and down, ever so slightly inching his head one way or another. The longer he went, the weaker Tom became. Eventually, his knees buckled and he fell onto the island stool, his length never leaving the warmth of his lover's mouth.

"Yes," he breathed, urging Harrison's head down. He ran his fingers through his hair and lolled his own head back. His shoulders slumped and relaxed into release. Below, Harrison didn't resist. He allowed Tom into the back of his throat, despite his gags and coughs. It all became too much for Tom who cried out and pulled himself free. Harrison leaned back and waited with his mouth open.

"Almost, almost," Tom cooed, jerking his wrist swiftly. 

Harrison cupped his lover's balls and massaged. Though his words with nearly incoherent by his tongue sticking out, he still praised Tom. "Give me it," it sounded like.

Tom cried out one last time and lurched forward. His come shot out in five or six spurts, each colliding with Harrison's face. Most of it landed on his tongue, which he swallowed appreciatively. What didn't, Tom assisted by wiping it down with his thumb. Harrison sucked on the soaked fingers until any trace of the release had vanished. 

He stood and kissed Tom longingly, their tongues swapping the salty taste. Tom pulled away and licked his lips. "You're so beautiful, baby."

"Mm." Harrison fell against Tom's chest and felt those strong arms tighten around him. "So, when does that poison kick in again?"

Tom chuckled and kissed his lover's ruffled hair. "Luckily, you took the antidote in time."

+++

After his morning meal and breakfast were over, Harrison quickly showered and dressed for the day. When he returned to the kitchen forty-five minutes later, he found Tom just as ready. He sat hunched over on one of the stools, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. Harrison peaked over his shoulder and saw that he was looking at a tracking code.

"You order something?" he asked.

Tom jumped, apparently having noticed his boyfriend's presence. He hurriedly locked the phone and tucked it into his pocket. His face looked like he'd been caught in a devious act. "Nope. Nothing important."

"Mmhm." Harrison didn't believe the lie but he figured it was pointless to press the matter any further. In the worst case, it was probably new shoes. Harrison had scolded him for years on his expensive habit but Tom still snuck around to the online shops. "So, what's on the agenda today?"

"Nothing, really. I think Harry was going to come over for lunch."

Harrison fished a bottle of water from the refrigerator and downed half of it in two gulps. Tom smirked, watching. "What?"

"Nothing," Tom said. "I just can't notice how good you are at swallowing."

"Stop," Harrison protested playfully. "You got your fill for the day."

"Fine, fine." Tom rose and pulled his boyfriend into his arms. "I did have a question for you though."

"What's that?"

"Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

Harrison blushed. No guy had ever asked him out before. Well, except Logan. It wasn't the time to think about him though. Harrison had done his duty. He had texted Logan, told him he was sorry for ghosting and insisted they would never work out. He had even deleted the texts, though, truthfully, not Logan's number.

"What is it?" Tom asked, poking at his boyfriend's belly button.

Harrison giggled and moved back, but was restrained by Tom's burly grasp. "Just makes it seem real, you know? Like a date."

"Yeah, I suppose it does. So, I have a steak thawing in the sink."

Harrison clicked his tongue. "That steak has been outdated since last month."

"Damn it. You know I don't read the dates."

"It's fine." Harrison sighed, though it wasn't about the steak. "I'll go get some fresh from the market." And, unfortunately, probably run into Logan.

"I can't ask you to do that." Tom frowned. "I'm the one asking _you_ on the date."

"It's fine, babe. I'll go after lunch and be back in time for you to cook it. You know you're the best on the grill."

"Can't dispute that." The voice didn't belong to Tom. It did belong to someone they both knew though.

"Fuck, no," Tom hissed.

Harrison turned and locked eyes with Harry. "It's not what it looks like."

"Yeah, Harry," Tom added. "It was just -"

"My brother and his apparent lover making dinner plans?" Harry finished. "At least, that's what it seems like." 

Harrison was surprised to find no anger or disgust in Tom's brother's voice. Instead, his tone felt nonchalant. 

"I just can't believe it took you this long to tell me."

Tom shrugged. "Well, we didn't exactly _tell_ you. You found out is more like it."

"Tomato, tomah-to. Does it really matter?"

Harrison jumped in, beyond confused. "Wait, so you knew?"

"Are you kidding?" Harry laughed. "All those nights you guys spent together in secondary school? I know you weren't just sleeping in Tom's room."

Both boys paled then burst into fits of laughter. When they had calmed, Tom explained, "We actually only started this a couple of days ago. Was it obvious how we felt about each other?"

"Well, yeah. I lost track of the times Harrison stared at your butt when you'd leave the pool."

Harrison felt flush. "I wasn't looking."

"Yeah, you were." Tom nudged his boyfriend with his elbow. "I was too, though."

Harry leaned against the island and scrolled through his phone. "I'm just glad it's official now. I'll be sure to knock from now on."

"It's not official," Tom snapped, far more urgent than needed. He breathed deeply and lowered his voice. "No one can know, Hare."

"Secret is safe with me," Harry assured them. "Just promise you won't force me to take any cutesy couple photos of you two."

Harrison feigned vomiting. "Wouldn't dream of it."

+++

The rest of the morning was spent lounging in the sitting room, discussing whatever the boys could find interesting enough on their phones. Most of what they found were funny videos and favorable fan edits of their family. It was enough to keep them busy though. Before anyone realized, it was lunchtime. To save time and effort, Tom ordered in from UberEats -- salads for himself and Harrison and a burger for Harry who had the metabolism of a lion. After they ate -- again, over their shared internet findings -- Harry said goodbye. Harrison followed suit, kissing Tom and promising to be no longer than half an hour in fetching the steaks.

The market was only a few blocks away from Tom's apartment. Feeling particularly bloated and not understanding why Harrison opted to walk the distance. In ten minutes, he arrived. He felt relieved to find the parking lot practically vacant. Save for three cars, the place actually looked deserted. Inside the store was more or less the same. In fact, the only person Harrison saw while grabbing a basket and making his way to the meat department was a single cashier, and she had been too enthralled in a _People's_ magazine to notice him.

He made quick work of picking out the meat -- two ribeye steaks -- and darted to the checkout lines. The girl who rang him up seemed absent, probably still thinking about whatever tabloid junk she was reading. Harrison didn't mind. It was actually a relief. The quicker he was done here, the quicker he'd be sharing a romantic dinner over candlelight with his lover.

With his change and receipt in hand -- he declined the receipt but the girl didn't listen -- Harrison headed out of the market. The air had chilled significantly in just the short amount of time he had been inside. What had it been, five minutes? Ten? It seemed implausible that the temperature would drop so suddenly. A breeze blew and he shivered.

"Cold enough for you?" Harrison knew the voice without even turning around.

"Logan," he said, staring ahead.

The boy, dressed in his usual stock boy apron, stepped into view. "There's supposed to be some kind of storm. Looks like you're eating good." He glanced at the bag of meat in Harrison's arms.

Harrison nodded solemnly. "Uh, yeah. I guess."

"So, I got your text."

"Logan, look, I'm really sorry that -" He stopped midsentence at Logan's insistence.

"No worries, dude. I understand completely."

"You do?"

He jerked his chin at the meat. "You're already with someone. I get it."

"It's not...well, I mean..." Harrison wasn't going to deny it, that was for sure. Still, he couldn't say he was dating Tom Holland.

Logan smiled assuringly and patted Harrison's arm. "If it doesn't work out, give me a call. You have my number."

Harrison did. Though he knew he shouldn't, he did.


	3. Bad Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING:  
> The rest of this book (and my writings) is free of triggers. However, there is a small scene at the end of this chapter that may be triggering for assault. It happens after the time skip (+++) and is only a few lines.

Dinner that night was more than Harrison could have ever expected, like something out of a romantic film. When he returned home, he had found the apartment cloaked in darkness, the only light coming from a few taper candles sitting on the kitchen island. He approached them eagerly and saw that a note was attached to one. It read: _Take a candle and follow the roses. Where they lead you, nobody know..ses? I'm bad with poetry._

Harrison laughed at the note before replacing it on the countertop. After setting the meat aside, he grabbed a candle and followed the path of roses that Tom had apparently taken the time to set up. They led through the hallway and into the bedroom, only stopping at the bathroom door. Light pooled beneath its bottom crack and Harrison inched it open. Inside, Tom sat relaxed in the tub. His head was leaned back against the wall and his eyes were shut. He looked like an angel, Harrison thought, especially with the foaming bubbles curling up his chest.

"What's this then?" Harrison asked in a soft voice. He set the candle on the sink beside at least five more. When he scanned the bathroom, he noticed that hundreds of candles adorned every shelf and surface available. Tom had really gone out of his way.

Suddenly, the tub water splashed. Harrison looked over and saw Tom arched over the tub's wall. He smiled thoughtfully. "Do you like it? It took a lot of matches. It looked like it might rain so I figured we'd just eat here."

"What about the steaks?"

"I ordered." Tom glanced at a small table concealed on the other side of the sink. On it sat two plates of steak and vegetables, and a bottle of freshly opened wine. Harrison recognized the bottle from Tom's vintage collection.

"So I went to the store for nothing?" Harrison crossed his arms in mock agitation. "I ended up walking for no reason."

"Oh, come on, baby. Get in with me."

Harrison released his arms and giggled. "There isn't even enough room in there for both of us." It was true. The tub was small, barely big enough for Tom. Had he been just a few inches taller, he would have to bend his knees to fit.

"Just take your clothes off and I'll show you."

"So that's your plan?" Harrison made quick work of his clothes, pulling off everything until he was left shivering under the bathroom's chilly vent.

Tom outstretched his arms. "Come here."

Harrison stepped into the tub and yelped in surprise as Tom pulled him downward, against him. They lay silently for a while, their heartbeats intertwining. As time passed, Harrison became more and more relaxed, the warm water releasing the pressure in his body, and Tom's arms wrapped around him.

"Mm, this is nice," Tom whispered, his lips pressed against his boyfriend's ear. He rubbed his hand up and down Harrison's chest, coating him in bubbles.

Harrison sighed gratefully. "I don't even want to eat. I just want you holding me like this forever." 

"Me too, baby, but I really want that wine."

Harrison laughed. "Hold on." He leaned forward and snatched the bottle, knocking over a plate while doing so. "Shit, there goes one."

"Shush," Tom cooed. "We've got all we need right here." They settled back into each other, and for the next half hour, they simply passed the bottle between themselves and listened to muted traffic outside. Harrison couldn't remember a time when he'd felt more at peace. He didn't ever want the moment to end.

"I love you," he whispered. He brought a hand up and cupped Tom's jaw, who was burying his face in the crook of Harrison's neck. He kissed it lightly, feathering his lips across the skin. Harrison moaned and relaxed even further, not even realizing it was possible.

Beneath the water, Tom's hand worked lower, curling around Harrison's growing front. "You're so beautiful," he breathed. "Say you'll never leave me. Please say you'll stay with me forever, baby."

"I won't...leave you," he gasped out, struggling to keep down his moans as his erection was worked further.

"Say you'll never stop loving me."

"I won't ever, Tom. You're mine, I'm yours."

"I love you, Haz. I love you. I love you. I love you." With each reiteration of the sentence, Tom kissed Harrison's neck again and again. Below, he pumped his length, slick with the bubbly water. 

Harrison breathed deep and panted. "I love...you too. Always. Oh...baby."

"Come here," Tom said suddenly, releasing his grip. Harrison didn't question it. Instead, he allowed his boyfriend to maneuver him around and up. 

"Fuck," he gasped, feeling Tom slide inside him. In the water, it felt better than it ever had before. Slowly, Harrison ground forward and backward, feeling Tom at just the right spot. And kept a slow pace. Somehow, he knew going any faster would pull them from the moment. This way, they could experience all of each other, know each other wholly. 

As Harrison continued riding, Tom massaged his fingers deep into his cheeks. It only tightened Harrison's opening. "You're so beautiful, baby. You're so fucking gorgeous."

"Yes," Harrison agreed. "Yes, yes, oh yes." He kissed Tom, sloppily. Their tongues collided and their lips felt numb. Neither cared though. All they wanted was to be closer, to connect their bodies in every way imaginable. After a few minutes, Tom bit into Harrison's lower lip and groaned. 

Harrison gasped, feeling Tom's come explode inside him. Immediately, his own release shot out over his lover's chest. "Sorry," he laughed, as a small shot hit Tom's chin.

Tom wiped at it and licked his fingers. "I love the taste of you."

They fell back into that familiar spooning position and topped off the wine. Only when Tom's phone rang from the bedroom did their entwinement break. And even then, Tom insisted they ignore the call.

"No," Harrison protested. "It could be important. About the movie?"

A glimmer of something other than excitement passed through Tom's eyes but it was gone before Harrison could fully recognize it. He climbed out of the water and felt Tom leak from his hole. "Look what you did," he giggled.

"Looks like leftovers to me," Tom said before yanking Harrison back and burying his face between his cheeks.

Harrison cried out. "Babe...stop...it. Oh, fuck. I'm...serious. Stop...it." Tom did but only after the phone had rung three more times. When he pulled away, Harrison marched into the bedroom, but not before looking over his shoulder and sticking his tongue out.

In the bedroom, Harrison quickly found the now silent cell phone and clicked it open. There were three missed calls from Andrew and a text.

**I really think you should reconsider saying no about the movie, Tom.**

Harrison felt sick. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and Tom had turned it down? He never did anything like that. There had to be a mistake, right?

"You okay?" Tom asked. He joined Harrison, towel around his waist, and another in his hand. He wrapped it around Harrison and kissed at his slick shoulder.

Harrison blinked numbly at the text. "You turned the movie down?"

"Haz, look..."

"What the fuck?" he tossed the phone onto the bed and pulled away from his boyfriend. "You didn't turn down the shitty Dreamworks cartoon. A pigeon, Tom. A fucking pigeon. But you turn down something that could get you an Oscar, have you recognized for more than just 'the kid who plays Spider-Man'?"

Tom sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is why I didn't want to tell you."

"I would have found out anyway!"

"I know, okay?" Tom's voice was raised. It was startling, terrifying. Harrison had never heard him raise his voice like that. "I know, dammit, don't you think I get that? I only gave up the fucking role so I wouldn't have to leave you. It's six months in the state, Haz. Six fucking months. I can't go that long without you."

"You have before, even longer during press tours."

"That was before --" He cut himself off and breathed, calming his tone. "That was before all of this -- us being together."

"You should have told me, Tom."

"Why? So we could do exactly this? For fuck's sake, Haz, we just had the best night of our lives. And now you want to do this? You know what?" He marched back into the bathroom and returned a second later. In his hand, he held Harrison's phone. "I know you still have that boy's number -- the one from the market. And I know you've been texting him."

"I haven't-"

"Don't. Last night you fell asleep and he texted you. He told you to call him when you were ready. I deleted it. So, what? Are you cheating on me?"

Harrison could no longer control his anger. "Are you fucking kidding me? How could you ever think that? I fucking love you, and only you. Goddammit, you idiot! Give me my phone." He snatched it and hurried to the closet where he tossed on the first clothes he found -- a pair of black jogger pants and a scratchy sweater. 

"Where do you think you're going?" Tom called as Harrison headed into the hallway. 

"Out. I can't deal with you right now."

"Harrison, wait." 

Harrison could feel his boyfriend trailing after him but he didn't care. He pounded out of the apartment and down into the street where it had already begun to rain. He squinted through the drops as he trekked on down the sidewalk, turning at the corner. He didn't know if Tom had come out that far but he didn't turn around the check either. When he had put at least three blocks between himself and Tom, he yanked out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. Next to Logan's name, he hit **CALL.**

+++

Logan's apartment sat a few blocks west of the market, on the third floor of a towering building. Inside, Harrison found himself feeling completely out of place. Whereas his and Tom's apartment was neat and precise, Logan's was unkempt and sparsely decorated. Clothes were strewn about and the kitchen looked practically uninhabitable, filled with old pizza boxes and takeout bags. The only decent spot seemed to be the futon that Logan invited Harrison to sit on.

It creaked under his weight and smelled a little dank, but Harrison smiled gratefully anyway. "Thank you for this," he said, clutching his phone to his thigh, secretly hoping Tom would text. Truthfully, he felt scared to be where he was. He didn't even know Logan all that well, just from the market. 

"Don't mention it." Logan settled in beside him, a little too close and sighed. "It was a rough day at work today."

"It looked empty when I came," Harrison noted.

"Yeah, but we had a lot of inventory. I hate carrying those boxes of canned food."

Harrison nodded, not paying attention. Logan didn't seem to notice. Actually, he didn't seem to take notice of any way Harrison was feeling, scooting in closer to him. "So, you fought with your boyfriend. What happened?"

"Just about a job, I guess. It wasn't really a fight. Maybe I should just go." He made to stand but was pulled back by Logan.

"It's okay," Logan said, almost with a little sneer. "Fights are normal in couples. Give him a while. Let him cool off." His hand trailed up Harrison's knee.

Harrison cleared his throat. "What are you doing?"

"I know what it's like to need someone." His hand traveled the length of Harrison's thigh and settled inches from his drawstring.

"Logan, I'm not here to --"

"Shush. Just relax." Logan leaned in and kissed Harrison's jaw. His lips trailed downward, past his neck and across his clothed shoulder.

"Please..."

Logan ignored Harrison's pleas though. He knew he should've just leaped up and left, but he was struck frozen with fear. He didn't know what to do as Logan climbed to the floor and spread Harrison's legs apart. Even as his pants were pulled down and his flaccid front was revealed, he didn't move.

"Love that uncut cock," Logan sneered, before diving forward. At the same time, the front door swung open.

Both Logan and Harrison jumped. Immediately, Harrison felt a relief come over him. Rushing forward, fists clenched at his side was Tom. Logan stood to protest but swiftly fell backward, a pair of hard knuckles connecting with his chin.

"Stay the _fuck_ away from him," Tom barked. He turned and pulled Harrison to his feet. "Are you okay?"

Tears brimmed in Harrison's eyes. "I didn't...permission...he...scared." His words were a jumbled mess between sobs.

"It's okay, it's okay." Tom pulled Harrison's joggers up and tied them back. "Come on." Without protest, Harrison allowed himself to be scooped in his boyfriend's arms. He nuzzled his face in Tom's chest and drifted to sleep as they stepped into the drizzle of the night.


	4. Passion, Sweet Passion

By the time they had reached the apartment, Harrison and Tom were soaked. Neither seemed to mind though. They simply stripped their clothes and climbed beneath the blankets of their bed. As they lay, Harrison wrapped in Tom's arms and Tom softly singing, Harrison thought back to when the bed had officially become a shared piece. Of course, it had been the first time they made love. Since that night, when Harrison had finally felt a man inside him, he hadn't slept in any other sheets. It would've felt odd not to have Tom's arms around him, honestly. 

Tom's tune was one Harrison recognized, a classic his grandfather had always played on the gramophone. Johnny Cash, he remembered. " _I love you because you understand, dear, every little thing I do..."_ Harrison felt himself relax and fall into the words of the song, feel them blanket him in their emotion. " _I love you for a hundred, thousand reasons. But most of all, I love you because you're you..."_

"I love when you sing to me," Harrison said, stopping his lover mid-tune.

Tom kissed Harrison's hair. "I used to sing to you when we were kids. Do you remember?"

"Mmhm. I'd have nightmares and you'd sing whatever Granddad had played that day."

"Usually Cash, right?" Tom chuckled. "Or the Carpenters."

"Ooh, ooh," Harrison chimed, "Sing that rainy day one."

"Let me think." There was silence for a moment before Tom began. " _Talking to myself and feeling old. Sometimes I'd like to quit. Nothing ever seems to fit. Hanging around, nothing to do but frown."_ On the last line, Harrison joined in.

" _Rainy days and Mondays always get me down..._ " They chorused, drawing the last note out far longer than the song called for. Then they both burst into laughter.

"I'm sorry," Harrison said when they had eventually calmed.

Tom shook his head and wiped Harrison's damp hair from his forehead. "You don't need to be. I should have told you about everything. I was just so scared of losing you. I mean, six months is a long time when you've gotten as close as we have. And then I saw that guy text -- I know I shouldn't have looked -- and it made me think you were already moving on, that you'd find someone once I was gone."

"Tom," Harrison sighed. "I'm never leaving you. I love you too much. Besides, who else would put up with me?"

Tom playfully punched his boyfriend's arm. "Any guy would be lucky to have you."

"Yeah, and you're the one who does." They kissed then, delicate and cautious before allowing it to deepen.

Tom pulled away and licked his lips. He appeared to be thinking. Harrison prodded him. "What is it?"

"You want me to take that role, don't you?"

"I do. You can't pass this kind of opportunity up."

"It's six months..."

Harrison placed a finger against his lips. "We can FaceTime and text. I might even fly out a couple of times. This isn't the dark times, Tom."

"It feels like it is. How will I sleep without having you next to me?"

"Hug a pillow," Harrison joked. "I'll even send my cologne with you."

Tom chuckled, tears swelling in his eyes. "I love you."

"I'm not going anywhere, love. You know that. Now, about that bath." Tom cocked his head, expecting. "Was that my surprise."

"Yeah," Tom admitted. "Though it was supposed to have more charm to it. I guess we kind of blew that up, huh?"

"It doesn't have to stay that way." Harrison sat up. He trailed a hand down Tom's stomach, stopping just above his pubes. "We could still redeem the night, you know."

Tom leaned on his elbows and smiled knowingly. "I ordered a couple of things if you want to see."

"What kind of things?" 

Tom climbed out of bed and padded to the closet. He reached down and dug through the bottom mess of clothes and shoes. Harrison couldn't help notice his hole as he did, so prominently on display with his cheeks spread. It made him harden.

"Ah, here it is." Tom came back to the bed, a paper bag in hand. He handed it to Harrison who dug inside. From it, he pulled a DVD and a white box.

"Shit," Harrison moaned, reading the DVD's title: _Raw Summer Lovin'_. "You ordered this?"

Tom shrugged. "The guys looked hot and it has like four or five scenes."

"What about this?" Harrison held up the box that felt lightweight.

"Open it and see. And give me this." Tom took the DVD and trekked to the large flatscreen in front of the bed. As he busied himself readying the movie, Harrison worked open the box. Inside, to his utter shock and excitement, was a toy. At least eight inches and bright blue, the thing looked like it would destroy any who dare use it. Harrison was dying to do so.

"Holy fuck," he practically gasped. "You got this for me?"

"Yeah," Tom said. "Well, both of us, actually."

"Both of...? Wait, you want to..."

Tom nodded knowingly. "I leave tomorrow if I take the deal. That's why Andrew was so adamant. And, by the way, I did take it. I texted him after you stormed out."

" _Tomorrow?_ "

"Yeah..." Tom frowned but only for a second. "That doesn't mean tonight can't be special." He climbed atop the bed, knees first, and kissed his lover. "I want you inside me, Harrison."

He turned around and clicked play on the remote in his hand before tossing it aside. As the first scene started, the boys fell into a kiss.

+++

For the entirety of the first scene, Tom and Harrison only kissed and touched each other. Somehow, it was more personal this way. It had been a while since they had watched anything dirty together, and the last time there hadn't been that much watching. As the actors on screen moaned and cried out with their sex, Harrison pumped at his lover's cock. Finally, when the second scene came on screen, Tom pulled away from their kiss and lowered himself flat against the sheets.

Harrison lolled his head back in ecstasy as Tom swirled his tongue around his tip, then pulled him in entirely. His mouth, wet and warm, was exactly what Harrison needed to feel. As Tom swirled and bobbed, Harrison curled his fingers in his hair and bucked his hips. He could just make out, over the sound of the video, Tom's slobbery lips and gagging. It only furthered his pleasure, bringing his release to a head until he felt himself fire into Tom's throat.

"Fuck," Tom gasped, pulling back and coughing, come dripping from his mouth. 

Harrison chuckled and wiped at the come, pushing it back in. "Sorry. You're just really good at that."

"Well, you better have more." Tom turned around and propped his knees up. On all fours, his hole was Harrison's for the taking. "Make me weak, baby."

Harrison sat up, licked his lips, and dove in. He lapped at Tom's hole, licking every inch, before sucking and spitting at it. He knew it felt good to Tom because the boy continually rocked his bottom back, forcing it harder against Harrison's face. His cries drowned out even the television where the bottom actor seemed to practically scream. It was all music to Harrison's ears.

"The toy," Tom screamed out. "Put it in me."

Harrison pulled back and snatched the rubber cock. "Are you sure?"

"Stretch my hole, baby." Harrison recognized it as a line from the previous scene. It still turned him on.

He spat once more onto Tom and brought the toy in his mouth. He sucked on it for only a second, lubing it up, before bringing it down. Tom howled, raising his head like a dog and wobbling his legs. And it was only the tip that passed through. As it entered deeper, Tom could no longer contain himself. He began to cry, tears streaking his cheeks.

"Fuck, are you okay?" Harrison asked, halting everything.

Tom nodded ferociously. "Keep going. It feels too good to stop."

Though reluctant, Harrison obeyed, pushing the dildo farther and farther in. Eventually, only an inch remained. Harrison was absolutely stunned that a virgin hole had taken someone so big. Tom seemed to be too.

"Is-Is it in?" he questioned cautiously. "All the way, I mean?"

"Yeah," Harrison said. "You want me to take it out?"

"Put yours in."

Harrison needed no convincing. He yanked the blue cock out (emitting a howl of pleasure from Tom, of course) and slid himself in. For his first time topping, he realized it was one of the best feelings, and cursed himself for not trying it sooner. The warmth of Tom's hole was unexplainable. And as he hit just the right spot, he could have sworn he felt something pulsate against his tip. Again and again, he pulled himself nearly out and rammed back in. A pattern soon formed of Harrison grinding and Tom shaking ruthlessly, crying out into the air.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he moaned.

Harrison slapped his cheek, surprised by his own instinct. "You feel so good, baby. So tight."

"Yeah, you like that? You like fucking me?"

"Fuck, yes!" The last word was drawn out through clenched teeth and a forceful grunt. "I'm going to come."

"No, no." Tom dropped forward, releasing Harrison. "Do it on my face."

Harrison was, admittedly, a little surprised. Tom had never really liked come on his face. His chest and stomach, okay. But his face was normally off-limits. Still, Harrison didn't protest. He was nearing release and he didn't want to waste it.

He arched himself over Tom's waiting, smiling face. After just two pumps, he screamed out and let his come fly. He didn't know whether it was the video or Tom's hole or a combination of both, but it ended up being the biggest release of his life. When he finished, Tom's face was completely coated, come dripping down his cheeks and chest. It took him a couple of minutes, but he managed to lick it all clean. What little he managed not to swallow, he spat back into Tom's mouth.

"Holy fucking shit," Tom eventually said once they had collapsed on the bed. "That was the best sex we've ever had."

Harrison laughed. "Guess you'll have to bottom more often, huh?"

"Definitely."

With the video still playing, now on its last scene, the boys fell asleep. Neither noticed that the blanket they covered up with was drenched in Tom's release.


	5. The Hardest Word

The next morning was a solemn one. When the boys woke, a little before nine, neither wanted to leave the bed. It had taken a lot of effort and a few held back tears but they eventually managed to ready themselves. While Tom grabbed a shower Harrison busied himself with the suitcase beneath the bed. It had been a gift a few Christmases past, and unzipping it brought tears to Harrison's eyes. He'd packed Tom's clothes hundreds of times before, usually when Tom couldn't be bothered or was in a hurry. Then it had been a mindless task. Now that everything had changed, it felt like driving a blade in his guts.

He stifled down any sobs, not wanting Tom to hear, and made quick work of the packing. When he had finished, having managed to squish 20 outfits, Tom emerged from the bathroom. He was still wet and his hair fell damp against his forehead. He wore a pair of red underwear, patches of water soaked through. Harrison only nodded when he saw him and turned to the dresser where he fished for socks. From behind, Tom wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck.

"We'll be okay," Tom cooed.

Harrison furiously wiped at the tears staining his cheeks. He didn't want Tom to think he'd changed his mind about the role. "It's fine." He snatched at least a dozen pairs of socks, not caring whether they matched the outfits, and carried them over.

Tom followed close at his heel. He sunk onto the mattress beside the suitcase and seemed to examine it. If the smile on his face was any indication, he was pleased. "You're always so organized, love. I could never even think of being like that."

"You could if you tried." Harrison shrugged. He knew his voice sounded distant but it was the only way to keep his emotions at bay.

Tom draped his fingers over a hooded sweatshirt. "Why's this in here?"

"It might get cold in Ohio."

"Here. You keep it." Tom handed it over. "You can always smell me this way."

Harrison couldn't help but giggle as he pulled the sweatshirt against himself. "What, like those movies? Instead of a jacket it's you're jumper?"

"Exactly. You know, it isn't forever, Haz. I'll be back before you even realize it."

"I know. I just think about what'll happen. What if you find someone new?"

Tom stood and pulled his lover's chin in his fingers. "There will never be anyone else for me, Harrison Osterfield." 

They stared into each other's eyes. Somehow, it seemed enough. Anything beyond would have extinguished the flame between them. 

Harrison smiled, staring into those eyes he'd come to know so well. "I love you so much."

"Ditto."

"Ditto?" Harrison snickered. "Who the hell says that anymore?"

Tom shrugged. "I do. In fact, I think I'll start saying it every chance I get. It really speeds things up, don't you think?"

"Har, har. You better not speed up our FaceTime calls. I'd have to --"

"Hello?" The voice was sudden and stopped Harrison midsentence. It belonged to Andrew.

Tom sighed. "Is it time already?"

"Your flight is in..." Harrison glanced at the clock on the bedside table. "... two hours. Yeah, I guess it is time."

"Tom, you home?" Andrew's voice drew closer. 

"Yeah," Tom called. Then, lowering his voice, he pulled Harrison against him. "I've been thinking about something. I don't usually call you so much when I'm filming and I think it might look suspicious."

"You're still calling, Tom. That was the deal."

"No, no." Tom waved his concern away. "You think I'd give you up for that long? I was thinking of maybe, possibly, telling Andrew."

"Oh." Harrison deflated. The only person who knew about them was Harry, and he had taken it so well. What were the odds everyone else would? It felt like such a gamble. Still, Harrison nodded. "If you think it's the right thing to do, I'm behind you."

Hand in the hand, the boys walked down the hallway and into the sitting in. There, they found Andrew mumbling into his cell phone. When he spotted them, he immediately ended the call and stood with his hand outstretched. 

"Morning, boys," he said.

Tom dropped Harrison's hand and shook his agent's. "How are you, Andrew?"

"Swamped." The man, dressed in a neat shirt and tie, glanced at his watch. "The traffic is supposed to be bad this morning."

"I guess we should head out then. There was one thing I wanted to talk to you about -- _we_ wanted to talk to you about." He glanced at Harrison and smiled. "Andrew, me and Harrison have been meaning to tell you that --"

"You're gay." It was a statement and not a question.

"How did you..." Harrison began to speak but his sentence fell flat. How did anyone know, really? How did he when he realized he liked boys? 

Andrew laughed but it wasn't mean. It was...understanding. "Do you think I wouldn't know? Tom, you eye-humped the first day I met you. I can't lie, I kind of liked it."

"Wait, you're --"

"Gay?" Andrew cut Tom off. "Absolutely. I have been since eleven years old. At least, I think I was eleven. It could've been twelve. Whenever Marcus DiMarco kissed me on the playground."

Harrison couldn't help it. The entire situation seemed so absurd, implausible. He burst into laughter, doubling over. It was almost like a yell of glee. "That's unfuckingbelievable."

"Yeah," Tom agreed. "I mean, how did I never know?"

"I wanted to make sure you could come to me about anything. You'd be surprised how many straight guys turn away their agents for being gay."

"I would never do that, Andrew."

Andrew shrugged. "You never know. Anyway," he glanced once more at his watch, "we've got to get going. I'll take this." He reached down and nabbed the suitcase from Tom's hand. "Say your goodbyes. I'll be down in the Uber. Please be quick about it."

"Thanks, Andrew," Harrison said.

Tom's agent headed out into the streets. Alone, the boys finally fell into each other. As they embraced, all the walls broke. Both began uncontrollably wailing. 

"Fuck, it's never this hard," Harrison whined, burying his face in Tom's shoulder.

"I know, baby, I know. It'll be okay though," Tom said. He rubbed circles on his boyfriend's back. "I'll FaceTime you as soon as we land and I'll text you the whole way there."

Harrison laughed. "No, you won't. You'll fall asleep on the plane like you always do."

"You're probably right." 

They kissed then, a slow and lasting kiss. One neither would forget for as long as they lived. Salty tears mixed between their lips but it only further cemented just how much they cared for one another. When at neither's approval, they finally pulled apart, Tom wiped at Harrison's cheeks. 

"We'll be okay. We have to be, right?"

Harrison nodded. "Yeah. And I'll find a flight in the next couple of months."

"Why not next week?" Tom smiled hopefully but he knew why it couldn't be. 

"We have to learn to be apart. This is what our lives are about. It'll be okay though."

Suddenly, Tom's phone chimed. It was a text from Andrew. "He says the hurry. I guess this is it then."

"Guess so."

The boys slowly walked to the front door. Though reluctantly, Tom threw it open and stepped into the hallway. With tears brimming over, he turned. It seemed saying "goodbye" was too difficult, too final. After all, it wasn't forever.

"Wait." Tom turned and accepted a laptop from Harrison.

"What's this for?" he asked.

Harrison bit his lip. "You'll need a bigger screen on date nights."

Without saying a word, Tom leaped forward and threw his arms around Harrison. He lifted him in the air and spun, only setting him down when he nearly dropped the laptop. "I'm going to miss that smart mouth of yours."

"Oh, you'll still get it."

"And that nice arse." Tom smacked his boyfriend's cheeks. 

Harrison laughed and carefully pushed Tom away. "You'll still get that too. Now, go. Before you're late."

And he did. Without looking back, because he knew it would only cause more heartache, Tom left. In his wake, Harrison allowed his tears to run free. He cried for his lover, for his commitment, and for the life he knew they would one day build together. Six months would be nothing, he realized, when they had their whole lives to be together.

After a few minutes, confirming Tom was gone, Harrison stalked back to the bedroom. He threw on the sweatshirt left behind and crawled beneath the blankets. Just he curled up to drift into a nap, his phone chimed. He opened it and smiled. Tom had sent a photo of himself smiling wide, his eyes crinkled shut. Attached to the photo was a text.

**Love you, babe! Don't have too much fun without me.**

Harrison clutched the phone to his chest and sighed in relief. He thought of just how lucky he was to have someone like Tom in his life. And to think none of it would have ever happened had he not answered that first drunk text.


	6. The Playlist

This a playlist created to match the themes of the chapters. I suggest listening after you've finished the story.

**Chapter 1**

"Happy" by NeverShoutNever!

**Chapter 2**

"Starving" by Hailee Steinfeld

**Chapter 3**

"Thinking of You" by Katy Perry

**Chapter 4**

"Clarity" by Zedd ft. Foxes

**Chapter 5**

"Wildest Dreams" by Taylor Swift


End file.
